A flower girl is usually a young girl between the ages of 4 and 8 who has a special connection to the bride and groom. Perhaps she is a niece or cousin, or a family friend. She follows behind the bridesmaids, before or after the maid of honor, with a basket of flowers, scattering them down the aisle.
Age is important. Flower girls are generally between four and eight years old. If the girl is a bit older, you might consider making her a junior bridesmaid; junior bridesmaids wear dresses similar in color and style as the bridesmaids’, they walk down the aisle in the procession, and they stand at the altar or stage with the other attendants.
Think about personality. In selecting a flower girl, brides should consider the girls’ maturity and personality. Very shy girls may be frightened by the prospect of walking down the aisle and may refuse the daunting task at the last minute. More active girls may surprise the crowd by dashing up the aisle to see how fast she can make her petals fly. If this is your second (or third) marriage and you have kids, consider having your daughter serve as a flower girl.
Relationship with the couple. The best scenario occurs when your flower girl already has an existing relationship with you. Family should be a top priority when choosing flower girls. Weddings are about relationships and families. Choose relatives before you look outside the family. You may find a flower girl on either the bride or the groom’s side of the family. If there aren’t any young family members or none suited to the role, consider the children of close friends.
One or more flower girl. Traditionally, the bride chooses two flower girls, one older than the other so they can help each other do their moment. If you have three little relatives who dream of being flower girls, then consider having three flower girls. Choosing extra flower girls creates an elegant and regal setting.
Cuteness shouldn’t be a criteria. Every bride wants beautiful photos. You wouldn’t, however, tell your sister that she wasn’t cute enough to be in your album. Young girls who are eligible to be your flower girl are either family or children of friends. They deserve the same consideration. When choosing a flower girl, the focus should be on the relationship – not on the cute factor.
Discuss with the parents. Never approach a child about being a flower girl without consulting her parents. Indeed, refrain from discussing the matter with the parents unless you are seriously considering their daughter. Future disappointment often results from a premature request.
Preparation for the ceremony. One of the best ways to do prepare your flower girl for her role is buy her a book about being a flower girl which will explain her role, and get her excited. Seat her parents on the aisle, near the front so that she can see them when she walks down the aisle and during the ceremony itself. Ask a bridesmaid to be her “buddy” and make sure she uses the restroom before the ceremony.
Not allowed to throw petals in venue: Many couples find that their venue doesn’t permit the throwing of flower petals. In this case, your flower girl could instead carry single flowers to hand to guests as she walks up the aisle, or have two small bouquets to give to the individual mothers of the couple.
Keep the relationship alive. Make an effort to maintain a continuing relationship with your flower girl. She was part of your very special day. Your wedding also welcomed her into a celebration of love. Most flower girls are family members or close acquaintances so it can be easy to keep in touch. If you live across the country you can always send an occasional card or a short note as a sign of your appreciation. Your flower girl, after all, will forever figure into your love story!