Mary Potter takes great pride in her flower garden, and is quick to share tips and tricks with anyone who’ll listen. She loves creating centerpieces for special occasions and has also been putting her efforts into wholesale flowers .

Being a maid-of-honor or bridesmaid is a huge honor. When you’re asked it’s a thrill. Here is someone you’ve laughed, cried, lived with, and yes, planned the occasional petty revenge in order to feel better about a broken heart with. Now you’re going to be able to add another milestone to your life together as BFFs: the wedding.

You forget with all the flower planning, fun wedding parties, and cake tasting that your BFF tends to turn into a Godzilla monster under stress. And your friend turning into Bridzilla over perceived imperfections in the upcoming ceremony, missing items and a bout of cold feet can slap you across the face. There is a chance that the bride will be as chill as cool as ever in the face of adversity and stress, but I’ve learned while ducking a broken curling iron that it’s best to be prepared and plan for the worst.

Micro-Manage

When planning the wedding try to know all the details. Know when the flowers are coming in, when the cake will arrive and be stored, how the music will be set up and where the dresses are located before you go to sleep the night before. If things need to be set up before the wedding be sure to know who will be doing what the next day and when they will be doing it. Being able to rattle of the state of things to a panicking bride will go a long way in calming her nerves.

Early Birds and Punctuality Never Killed Anyone

Be on time—better yet—be early. If your renting out a venue and preparing there, be sure to find out how early you can arrive. If you’re preparing at home and then going to the second location be sure that all of the people involved are awake and preparing for the ceremony early enough that they have time to spare once they arrive at the venue. In order to assure that the wedding begins on time you might have to raid their houses or steal their cell-phones to set their alarm for them. This seems insane—and to some extent it is—so for people you don’t know as well I would ask permission before breaking into their house. Be sure to have people text you constant updates: I’m awake, preparing now, I’m on my way, and here. People might think you’re being too pushy, but that is a small price to pay for a calm bride.You can go back to being your normal sunny self after the wedding.

Back Up

Any number of things from broken I-Pods, on the fritz curling irons, and forgotten hair brushes can send the pre-wedding preparations into DEFCON 1. In order to avoid bridal stress, be sure to make a list of everything that is needed. Have the other bridesmaids or family members look over the list and make suggestions. Then be sure that all the items are being brought to the wedding location. Store backups in the trunk of your car far away from the other items. Too many of one item is just as bad as not having it. Just in case something was forgotten or broken in the first stash of items, the second stash can be raided.

The List

Cold feet can affect any bride. I have found that the best way to manage this is to come prepared with a list of reasons why she made the decision to marry her stud. Have the bride record herself saying those reasons on an mp3 file and play track on a loop if you have too. It can be a fun bridal party game, putting together this list. If the mp3 file is too much work, just talk her down. Have the same conversation 10 times about how dreamy and sweet the stud is. Hopefully pointing out all the reasons they decided to marry will give her the same feeling of confidence as she had when she accepted the proposal. If you know her well enough that you are pretty sure this is something that you will have to deal with, you could try suggesting they go to a wedding consultation. There they will discuss their expectations, their strengths, and how they will act as a team together, with the help of a professional. This type of session is a great way to make both confident and set in their decision well ahead of the big day.

There is of course no way that you can keep track of all aspects of the wedding at once, so I would recommend looking for a partner in crime. Maybe a close relative or friend not in the wedding party that can take over some of the responsibility. If things get too overwhelming and you feel your inner Brides-Maidzilla peeking out just take a deep breath, spend a moment meditating or listening to loud angry music to restore your calm. And remember if anything too bad happens, you might be able to laugh about it years later.